November 2, 2012 11:03 am
The Charleston Chew “Why The Fuck Did I Select This Candy?” Award for being a terrible fantasy draft pick: Oakland Raiders RB Darren McFadden.
The “Toothbrush In The Candy Bag” Award for the worst fantasy pick possible: Maurice Jones-Drew, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars.
The “Wait, Is That A Costume Or Is That Just What That Guy Wears?” Award for strangest team of the season: The New England Patriots.
The “Cool Dad” Award for the old guy who can hang with the kids: Peyton Manning, QB, Denver Broncos.
The “Aren’t You A Little Old To Be Trick-Or-Treating” Award: Randy Moss, WR, San Francisco 49ers.
The “Twix Bar” Award for playing in a small market (when do you eat Twix besides Halloween?) but being absolutely amazing: CJ Spiller, RB, Buffalo Bills.
October 13, 2012 1:44 pm
By Matt Ford
Friday’s Game Five letdown by the Washington Nationals was, as Tim Kurkjian said, “possibly the most depressing loss” in baseball history… But only No. 4 on this list.
But how do those losses stack up against each other? How can you quantify the worst losses in DC/Maryland recent history when there are just SO MANY to choose from!
So, with one being a blowout regular season loss and 10 being a “Franchise-breaking, you can’t mention it without someone hurling a chair at you, go on a run two weeks later at midnight because you accidentally thought about it” kind of loss, Power Rankings of the Worst Losses in DMV History.
But at the end of the day, hopefully we can have some perspective.
August 14, 2012 11:33 am
By Chris Badders
4. Women’s Gymnastics: This year, we finally broke through and returned to the gold-medal podium after trying to reinvigorate the program after the Atlanta games and the “Magnificent Seven” who won gold.
I mean, when Aly Raisman stepped on the mat for her floor exercise, she needed a score of 13.8 or higher to win.
Are you kidding me? I could probably go out on the floor and score a 13.8.
(My first tumbling pass would be staggered cart wheels into a belly flop. The judges would go nuts.)
Side note: The best part about women’s gymnastics is the fact that it keeps the pedo’s at bay for a week. Moms everywhere can rest assured their children will be able to walk to school safely because the weirdos are glued to the TV screen watching barely 16-year-old girls prancing around in next-to-nothing. It’s gross.
June 5, 2012 5:31 pm
By Matt Ford
HBO’s Game of Thrones is quickly becoming the most talked-about show in pop culture. Who are the big winners from Season Two, the future kings, and, most importantly, who’s the winner of the “Rex Grossman Award for Being Most Quickly Replaced By A Better Talent?”
The last episode of Season Two of Game of Thrones provided more drama and more future storylines than the QB battle at Jets training camp.
So without further ado, HMGL is ready to dole out awards for performances during Season Two!
Complete with Power Rankings for who is most likely to be the next King of the Seven Kingdoms!
May 31, 2012 4:00 pm
By Chris Badders
Historical evidence is shady on how the fued between the Hatfields and McCoys started, but from what the series tells us, it began when William Anderson “Devil Anse” Hatfield (Costner) deserted his regiment of the Rebel Army during the Civil War, leaving a sour taste in the mouth of Randolph “Ole Ran’l” McCoy (Paxton). Apparently Ran’l was a man of God and a man of honor, and he thought Hatfield was neither.
That’s one theory.
Or maybe the feud began when Jim Vance (or was it Jim Nantz?), Costner’s uncle, shot a McCoy after he enlisted in the Union instead of the Confederacy.
Or maybe it started when a Hatfield man stole Ran’l McCoy’s pig.
Are we seeing a pattern here?